doctors, recital, school, and more

I went to see my ankle doctor today for the first time in a while. It was just because he wanted to check up on me before I (eventually) move away. He didn't have a whole lot to tell me... I told him the circulation in my toes is still pretty bad, and he said it will be like that for a long time, if not forever. He demonstrated how stiff my ankle is in side-to-side motion compared to the other one, and said that happens all the time with the type of dislocation I had. I think it's pretty much going to be like that permanently. Then he pushed right on the joint to show me where I dislocated it... wow, that hurt.

I also had an appointment with my knee doctor today. He said the MRI looks fine. That's good news and bad news. It's good for obvious reasons, and bad because I was hoping we would find SOME explanation of why I've been in so much pain lately. Unfortunately, because the doc can't find an obvious reason, there's nothing he can do for me. He thinks it's just all the scar tissue that's causing me problems. He said he could scope all the scar tissue out of my knee, but he's not sure that would really help, since it could grow back just as badly.

I can't even explain how frustrated I am right now. The doc said it will get better with time. I just don't understand why it's getting worse still every day. The past three weeks, my pain level has been higher than it had been for months. Really, though, I've been dealing with this type of pain for a long time. I am starting to go stir-crazy because I can't go to the gym (which I used to really enjoy before the accident). I have lost over ten pounds since having ACL surgery in September. I'm pretty sure that was all muscle. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't do my physical therapy exercises without my knee hurting. I can't even walk or sit still or do anything without having sharp, throbbing, burning, constant pain. I'm trying to not feel sorry for myself, but it's pretty hard at times like this. Today is/was especially bad.

Anyway, this is pretty much the busiest week of my semester. It's going okay so far because I'm staying on top of things (for the most part). I have a quiz on Wednesday, a group presentation on Thursday, my recital Thursday night, V-ball rehearsal Friday morning, V-ball Friday and Saturday nights, a bachelorette party to go to Saturday night (if I make it in time), a dress rehearsal Sunday, and the percussion ensemble concert Monday night. I also have to drive to Menomonie sometime to drop off paperwork, have to go to the parks & rec office to reserve space for my grad party, and have to finish editing Jazz Fest photos so I can get those to Holly. Oh, and I have classes and physical therapy and all that fun stuff, too. At least most of that stuff is fun. I'm trying to not get too stressed out about everything. I'm actually so stressed about my knee and a little about the upcoming trial that I'm not worrying too much about anything else.

Anyway, I guess that's about it. Sorry for not having anything more positive to say.

Oh, here's something positive: you should come to my recital Thursday night at 7:30. It should be fun.