worth a thousand words

worth a thousand words

Sorry for the no updates. Life is busy. I'll post a real update soon. In the meantime, here are some photos I took from the bike trail last week (click if you want to see biggies):

anniversary and PT

anniversary and PT

The one year anniversary came and went. I thought it would be just like any other day, but it hit me harder than I thought it would. I didn't know what to do with myself. I decided it wasn't good for me to sit home alone, so I went to the fine arts building to look for friends. It was kind of weird because I didn't see many people I recognized. I ran into a few people but then I didn't feel like talking. I think I was worried I'd break down, but I don't know why I was so worried - it would have been totally okay if I did. Anyway, after that I decided to go shopping, and that made me feel a little better. At least it got my mind off things for a little bit.

I felt a little overwhelmed on Monday with everyone talking about the accident (and then seeing it all over the media). It made me realize that, except for that one day, a lot of people don't talk about it much anymore. I hope it's because they're dealing with it well, and not because it's our social custom to not dwell on bad things for too long. Maybe it's some of both.

I have a feeling Saturday will be hard, too. When a reporter interviewed me a couple of weeks ago, he brought it up: Saturday will probably be more like the "one-year mark" than the 16th was, because we'll be at the same marching band competition we were at that night last year. I hadn't thought of it that way, but as soon as he said it, I knew he was probably right. I think it will be okay for me personally because I do better when I'm in large groups of people. But I know it will be a difficult day for a lot of people. In any case, it's been a long week and I'll be glad to have it behind me.

Thank you again for all the visits to my blog and all the messages and stuff. It's nice to know people are thinking of me - and I'm thinking of all of you, too.

Things on the physical therapy front are going so-so. My knee is recovering well from the ACL graft. Now my therapist and athletic trainers are beginning to focus more on my ankle. It's really stiff and sore. I have a lot of trouble with stairs - I still can't walk up and down them normally (wow, it's been over a year since I've been able to do that). I think the PT staff just started to notice how limited my ankle motion is. My knee has always been the top priority, and my doctors/therapists/trainers knew the ankle motion would come with time and normal use. Now it's getting to the point where my ankle motion (or lack thereof) is limiting my knee motion, so it's time to work on that. My therapist has started using a technique called "manual joint mobilization", which I'm pretty sure is synonymous with "hell". Basically he pushes and pulls on my foot. It hurts so much, and I feel like my ankle is too messed up for anything to help. I guess it will probably get better, but it's going to take a long, long time. Hopefully PT will be a distant memory by the time we hit the two-year mark.

aha!

aha!

I finally figured out how to change the time zone on my blog! All my posts have been showing up in mountain time, which has been irritating me to no end. If you have a Blogger account, you can change your time zone by going to Settings > Formatting > Time Zone. It's really not difficult, but until now I didn't have the patience to search for it in the settings.

I have plenty more to write, but unfortunately my art history assignment has to come first. I'll write more later.

one year later

one year later

Thanks for all the visits to this blog (and the messages, and the phone calls, and the flowers). Today's post isn't going to be about me - I'd rather share some memories.

I didn't have enough time to get to know Branden very well, but here are a couple memories that will stick with me:

I ran into him at the bars sometime during the summer of 2004, and we talked about the upcoming marching band season. He was SO excited to work with the kids.

Last season, I started getting to know Branden a little more. We had a lot of inside jokes last year, and one of them was to call Branden "lower-case C" because when he was a student teacher, he always followed Collicott (a.k.a. "C") everywhere. We decided that when Branden graduated and had a band department of his own, he would become "A". Branden thought that was pretty funny.

As far as G goes, I have so many memories of good times with him, this post will only scratch the surface. G was that teacher in my life (and in the lives of a lot of his students) who really inspired me. It sounds trite saying that, but it's true, and I can't think of another way to say it. I'm better with music than I am with words. Anyway, he was a lot of things to me - a teacher, a mentor, an inspiration, and a friend. Here are some random memories:

We had a lot of fun times in AP music theory class. We used to watch movies every now and then, and we would all bring snacks. I don't think we were supposed to eat in class, but as long as we brought G some pretzels and frosting, he was happy. Another AP class memory: when the day came to have yearbook photos taken of our class, a few students were missing. G drew pictures of their faces and we held them up in the picture. It was hilarious - I can't believe that photo ended up in the yearbook.

G loved to surprise his students. In jazz band Raji's senior year, he bugged G every day to let us play the tune "Some Skunk Funk". G always yelled at Raji and said we weren't going to play it. G showed me that he'd pulled the chart from the music library so we could play it, but he didn't tell Raji. I remember Raji was upset until the day he sat down at the set and "Some Skunk Funk" was on his stand waiting for him.

My senior year, I started suggesting to G that the school get a new marimba (the instrument I was playing in marching band that year). Ours was at least 20 years old and was showing significant wear. It didn't even sound like a marimba anymore. G told me the music department wouldn't be able to afford a marimba that year - they'd have to wait until after I graduated. Then one day I walked into the band room, and there was a brand new marimba (I think my brother had something to do with that - he worked a short stint at the marimba factory). Obviously it wasn't my marimba, it was the school's, but in any case G made me feel special that day.

There are a lot of really funny memories of G, but I can't think of a specific one to talk about right now. Feel free to leave a comment with memories of your own! I'm burned out - it's time to go to do something fun.

here we are

here we are

So it's been a year. This has been the longest year of my life, but at times it seems like it's flown by. I think the most frustrating part for me is that I still don't have normal use of my right leg (and it will be a long time before I do). It seems weird to think about doing things like running around or dancing because it's been so long since I could do any of that stuff. I know I'm so lucky to be alive, but I'm still angry about the extent of my leg injuries and the way they've affected my life.

Now that we've hit that one year mark, the media is doing a lot of stories about the accident. Some people say they're sick of the media dwelling on it, but I figure it's just their job. Reading some of the newspaper articles that have come out over the past couple days have reminded me just how many people were affected by the accident.

The Chippewa Herald did articles yesterday, today, and will again tomorrow. The Leader Telegram devoted almost their entire news section today to the accident. It's probably a little bit of overkill, but then again maybe it's necessary - I think people really want to know how everyone is doing one year later.

The Herald did an article yesterday about Andrea. I think it's nice that the paper did an entire story on her, but they put a very positive spin on something that wasn't very positive. It was kind of interesting though because Andrea and I had just had a conversation the previous day about outsiders' perspective of the accident. This is a generalization, but it seems like outsiders want to think of a happy ending to this whole situation, like we're in a movie. I think we both got that feeling from the people we talked to in the media. They like to ask things like, "what positive things have happened in the past year?" I know they just want to make people smile a little when they're reading the article instead of make it even more depressing, but they have to understand that we're not all better. But there are some positive moments here and there, and I guess I don't blame the media for wanting to focus on those moments.

The Spectator was going to do a story on the accident for tomorrow's paper, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen now. They will probably do an article for next Monday's paper. It's a long story, but basically they forgot about the story until I emailed them a few days ago, and then they were trying to throw something together for their deadline. I suggested they hold off for a week or so, and then they can have time to write a nice, sensitive article. They actually listened to my suggestion, so they will probably be doing an article next week.

I don't really know what to do with myself tomorrow. I want to pretend it's just a normal day, but I think the media coverage will make the accident hard to ignore. Are there any plans to hang out or anything tomorrow night? I know tomorrow will be a difficult day for a lot of people, so hopefully we can be together and do something so it's not so hard to deal with. Those of you who are in other parts of the country or world - I'm thinking of you, and I hope tomorrow is as uneventful as possible.

Tomorrow the students at Chi-Hi will mark the one-year anniversary of the accident by having a school-wide moment of silence. They will also be receiving dogtags or a necklace or something to commemorate this year's show. No media is allowed on school grounds tomorrow - a good decision on the part of the faculty.

Speaking of Chi-Hi, here is one of those positive moments: at our band's rehearsal on Friday, a woman from Vandercook College of Music gave a scholarship to Jessi for a school of her choice. Jessi is a senior, and she was badly injured on the bus last year. Then on Saturday at our home show, two band directors from Missouri flew in and presented us with over $11,000 for the Greenhalgh endowment fund. Eleven thousand dollars!!! It was part of a project that Missouri's school band programs are participating in, where each year proceeds from their concerts will go to a high school in need. So yeah, that was pretty awesome...

On a completely different subject, I had a good day at physical therapy on Friday. Since my surgery last month, I've had to wear this huge knee brace (hip to ankle) and it was driving me crazy. It would always slide down and rest on my ankle joint, which happens to be the joint where I dislocated my foot - not comfortable at all. I thought I'd have to wear the brace for another couple of weeks, but I brought my smaller knee brace in to see if I can start wearing that one yet, and my athletic trainer said that would be fine. Then I got to walk with my little brace on, and without crutches. Up until this point, since my ACL surgery, I couldn't put full weight on my leg unless I was wearing that stupid brace. Now I can just use the smaller brace, and around the house I don't have to use crutches OR the brace!!! :)

At the end of my PT appointment, my trainer wanted me to walk up and down a graded hallway with no crutches before he decided it was safe for me to switch braces. We went through a door marked "employees only" and there was a long hall that sloped downhill. As I was walking down the hall, I thought it looked vaguely familiar. Once I got to the end and turned around, it came rushing back to me - I was there almost a year ago. It was my last day at the hospital, and that morning I had to be wheeled through that hall to the orthopedic clinic to have a cast put on my ankle. I was beyond miserable that day. Any small movement put me in a lot of pain, and I was not looking forward to someone touching my leg and putting a cast on it. I have a lot of bad memories from that day. I felt like I'd never walk again. But I can't tell you how good it felt on Friday to walk all the way down and back up that same hall with only a small knee brace for help.

-------------------------------------------------------
articles:
http://www.leadertelegram.com/story.asp?id=74697
http://www.leadertelegram.com/story.asp?id=74698
(There is more in the print edition of the Leader, including a story I was interviewed for, but they don't put everything on their site...)
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news1.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news2.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news3.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news4.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news5.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/news6.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/zebra2.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/zebra2.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/zebra2.txt
http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2006/10/15/news/zebra2.txt

home show, media, winter

home show, media, winter

Hey, if you're in the area on Saturday, you should check out Chi-Hi's home show!
5 - 11 PM (Chi-Hi goes on at 8:45ish)
$7 adults/$5 students (children admitted free)
@ Chi-Hi (obviously).

The music program is moving forward and I know it'll be a great show, but I think our past is on everyone's minds. I'm sure there will be lots of ups and downs this week. Within one week we'll have our home show, the one-year anniversary of the accident, and then the competition after which the accident happened (this year it's on my birthday). I think our final competition will be the hardest day - all the good memories from last year mixed with memories of the horrible thing that happened afterwards.

On Wednesday TV-13 did a news special about us and interviewed several people at Chi-Hi (including C and Andrei). Sunday's Leader Telegram will feature a one-year follow-up. I lit a fire under the Spectator writers' butts, so they will probably do an article on Monday. I'm guessing the media will probably show up to at least one of our upcoming competitions. I'm hoping they won't, but I'm just expecting it so I won't be caught off-guard and be upset by their presence.

The band has been doing pretty well. Their scores haven't been the best, but I think they sound good. I feel like everything hasn't quite "clicked" yet, but I bet it'll happen this weekend. The other bands have been incredibly supportive of us, so that's cool.

It has been cold and a little snowy in Wisconsin. I just looked at the weather forecast, and you know you're in WI when it's going to be 27 one night and 58 the next day. I have definitely been feeling the weather change in my leg/knee/foot/whatever. It sucks. I still have some painkillers from my knee surgery, and I'm finding myself using them more for my ankle & foot sometimes than for my knee. I'm already thinking spring......

Let me know if you're planning on going to one of the competitions. I'm looking forward to seeing people!

news flash

news flash

gimp jokes = old.

marching band, classes, vacation

marching band, classes, vacation

Chi-Hi's first marching competition came and went, and I think they played pretty well. I haven't seen the scores, but I don't really need to. I think we've made as much or more progress than we usually have by this point in the season. The competition was a nice chance to see people I haven't seen for a while (sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you, Bryan!). A handful of parent chaperones came with us on Saturday's trip, and they all asked me how I'm doing. It's nice to have so much help & support for the kids and our staff.

As I said in my last post, we took a bus to the Irondale competition last weekend. I think being on a bus was hard on all of us, but we got through it okay, and now we have that first bus ride behind us. It was a little hard for me because I ended up sitting by myself behind the rest of the staff, and I hadn't expected that. I think some people thought I was being a diva because I didn't want to sit by myself, but it wasn't that. If I were a diva, I wouldn't have stepped on that bus in the first place. I was just hoping I'd have people to talk to so I could be distracted. It was okay though because Raji came and sat with me for the rest of the way. Anyway, I'm proud of myself for getting on the bus - I certainly didn't HAVE to go along (I could have driven separately), but I wanted to show myself I could do it.

Physically, the weekend was very hard on me. It was frustrating because I did everything I could - I sat with my leg elevated as much as possible, used my crutches, didn't go long distances, took painkillers, etc. but it wasn't enough. It took me a few days to recover from our one-day trip. I was worried that I messed up my knee more or took a step backwards in my recovery, and in a way I kind of did. Last week during physical therapy I could bend my knee to 120 degrees. This week I could only go to 112, but with some more work I eventually got it to 120. So I guess it didn't really get worse, it just didn't improve at all. I'm worried about this weekend because it's a two-day trip. Oh well, I guess I'll just try and rest as much as possible. I feel like I'm pushing myself too much, but my doctor did say I can go on these trips.

So... on to some more positive topics. I really enjoy the classes I'm taking this semester. I'm taking a Meso-American art history class, Baroque counterpoint, percussion ensemble, and percussion lessons (seven credits total). They're all upper-level classes, so it's enough to keep me interested but not enough to be overwhelming. Dr. Crowell just lent me a new piece to work on for marimba, and I'm starting to work on a Chopin scherzo on piano. I really wish I could still take piano lessons. I've finished my eight-semester requirement, and now I'm on a waiting list to take lessons. Hopefully I'll be able to take lessons next semester. I'm kind of sad because both of the applied piano teachers I had (Cecchini and Dossin) aren't at UWEC anymore. Anyway, I can learn this piece on my own, but it's nice to have someone to check in with every week.

I think I'm going to be in a Leader-Telegram article soon. I got a call today from one of their reporters, and he did a short interview. He's doing a follow-up on some of us since the one year mark is coming up. I might end up in a Spectator article, too. One of their writers did a phone interview with me for an article on campus accessibility (which was awful, by the way) and I asked him if they were planning on doing a follow-up about the bus accident. He asked, "Oh, is that the accident where a UWEC student died?" I mentioned that, in addition, myself and four other students were injured, and there was a long pause as he absorbed that information. Of course he had no way of knowing that, since the Speculator didn't give us more than a quick mention in one article. I think they were too busy writing narcissistic fluff.

In other news, I am finally going on VACATION!!!! If you read this blog regularly, you probably know how badly I want to go on vacation. It's been one hell of a year, and I just need to go somewhere and get away from it all. In early January I'll be going on a cruise to Mexico with my parents, Raji, Dan, & Tenley. Yay!

I think that's about it. I had more, but it's late and I'm tired. Anyway, thanks for reading. It's flattering that people want to know what's going on in my life.