website updatins

I added some new photos to my website (mostly in the wedding section). Check it out if you're bored... :)

things i like right now

"Exploring Music" (plays at 10 PM weekdays on XM Classics 110)
Chopin scherzos
going fishing
my camera
having time to read for fun
summer
etc.

stuff

Why are gym memberships so expensive? I just want to go to the gym while I'm still here and not pay $100 for the summer. Access to UWEC's fitness centers is only $20 for the summer, but apparently the privilege of using their facilities is not extended to alumni. I would love to go to the gym and work off some stress, but apparently that's not going to happen this summer.

Maybe it's a good thing that I can't go to the gym - the pain on the outside of my knee is coming back with a vengeance. It's not like I've been pushing myself really hard lately - maybe I'm more active than I was during the school year, but I'm definitely still doing a LOT less than I was before the accident. Apparently whatever I'm doing is just a little too much for my knee. I think it's from going up and down stairs too much (which still hasn't gotten any easier). I have physical therapy tomorrow, and I'm hoping my therapist can help me figure out what I need to do differently to stop this pain before it becomes constant again. I'm feeling pretty frustrated and restless. I want to be able to work out or go for long bike rides like I used to, but my knee still isn't ready. It's going to be really hard to figure out how I can start building strength and getting back to normal activities without irritating my knee.

My stomach hasn't been feeling any better since my last post. Actually I think it's getting a little worse. I've been avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and certain foods that seem to make it feel worse. I think I just need to give it some time and keep taking my medicine and hopefully it'll sort itself out.

Anyway, enough negative stuff. It's summer, and over the past couple of days I've been able to get out and enjoy the warm weather. Andrea had a BBQ on Sunday, and yesterday was full of fishing, lounging & reading (for fun), and more grilling. I'm excited for the weekend - one of my good friends got married in Mexico a few months ago, and she's having her reception up here on Saturday. I'm excited to see her (and have an opportunity to use my new camera!) Yay summer!

And now, the obligatory sunset picture:

oops

So... I've been having stomach aches on and off since the trial started. At the time I was on a prescription anti-inflammatory medicine for my knee, and I had to stop taking it because it was bothering my stomach so much. I finally decided to go to the doctor, and apparently I either have gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining?) or an ulcer. It was most likely caused by the anti-inflammatory medicine, since I've had problems with that stuff in the past, and I'm sure the amount of stress brought on by the trial was no help.

I'm on Prilosec or something now, and I'm going to try and avoid certain triggers - like more stress.

I resolve to:
- set up my current apartment so it's a nice, relaxing space
- avoid drama
- set aside time every day to do something completely unproductive, like play zelda
- get enough sleep

That seems like a good list for now.

my ankle hurts

I have trouble figuring out where the line is between challenging myself to a healthy extent and over-doing it. I tend to over-do everything, and physically I don't have much to show for it.

in limbo

I guess it's been a while since I wrote last. It's been a busy few weeks. The big news, of course, is that I graduated. I know it's just an undergrad degree, and it's not really anything special, but I'm proud of myself anyway. I worked SO hard, especially in the time since the accident. I didn't take any semesters off, and still managed to graduate with honors and get myself into grad school. School has been an enormous struggle for me in the past couple of years, between the physical pain I've been in, the time I've had to take off for surgeries, the ridiculous amount of narcotics I was on for so long, and then having distractions like the trial. School was hard, but it was what kept me going. I felt like I was getting back to something normal and was working toward an accomplishment again. Also, at school it was easy to see the support I had.

After the commencement ceremony, my family and I went to Shanghai Bistro. The message I got in my fortune cookie said, "Every great accomplishment is at first impossible." Fitting, huh?

The weekend of commencement was great. My family gave me some amazing presents. My brother came to town to help celebrate, so that was fun. The big grad party was a blast. It was awesome to see that many people from the music department in the same place at the same time. I hope next year's (or semester's) grads make a tradition out of it, and have another joint grad party.

After commencement, it was time to pack up and move. I was hoping to be able to stay in my apartment until my landlord found someone else to rent it. Unfortunately for me, he found renters for June at the last minute. I wasn't really expecting that, so I hadn't packed anything yet (not that I'd even had time). Fortunately my family helped out a lot. Becky & Theresa needed a subleaser for a couple of months this summer, so I'll be staying in their apartment. Right now I'm kind of living between a few different places until the sublet has electricity. I manage to keep forgetting where my stuff is. I'll think I have something with me, but then have to run over to Raji's or the new apartment to get it, then realize it was in my car all along. Yesterday I was in the process of going back and forth looking for something-or-other and then accidentally got locked out of Raji's house. Whoops. I have a key now.

Packing for this move was kind of tricky because I had to decide what things I need over the summer, what I don't need until I get to Seattle, and what I don't need at all. I'm going to have to go through the same thing in a couple of months when I decide what I really need in Seattle. Despite the pain-in-the-ass moving situation, I'm starting to get excited about moving to Seattle. I'm going to miss everyone here like crazy, but I've come to the realization that I really need to get out of this area. It's really hard to try and "move on" when there are constant reminders everywhere. I hate to say it, because I've never wanted to be one of those people who runs away when life gets difficult, but the thought of getting away & having a break from it all sounds a little appealing right now.

I hate raw onions. I just picked some off my sandwich, and now my hands smell like ick.

My ankle has been bothering me a lot lately. I don't get it. I've been on my feet a little more than usual lately, but I still have to sit and rest all the time. I've noticed that if I'm standing still for more than a half hour or so, my ankle swells up and I can barely walk on it the next day. Also, if I'm walking for a while, I get this pretty uncomfortable grinding sensation in my ankle. I don't know if the stiffness & achiness is just because I've been on my feet more, or if the change in weather has something to do with it too. It's frustrating because nothing has been done to my ankle (surgically) for over a year - shouldn't I be able to stand on it for a while AND still be able to walk the next day? How frustrating...

I was hoping that I'd be doing better physically by now. I was hoping that when I moved to Seattle, people wouldn't know something is wrong just by watching me walk. I want people to know me for my personality, not for my past. That's one of the reasons I want to get out of here, but unfortunately that's going to follow me. You really can't run away from everything, or from anything. But I guess we'd never learn anything if we were able to escape our unpleasant experiences. C'est la vie.

In good news, I broke down and bought myself a digital SLR camera. I was using my mom's so much that it made sense for me to buy my own. Besides, I can't bring my mom's camera to Seattle with me. I'm having lots of fun with the new camera. Here are some pics (click for biggies):