Here we go, week seven

Here we go, week seven

I got in kind of an argument with my parents today. It didn't really have a point; I'm just frustrated with everything right now. I'm going to watch the percussion ensemble concert tomorrow night. It's going to be a hard concert for me to watch because I should be on stage playing on four of those pieces, but I can't because of my injuries. I absolutely love playing in percussion ensemble - I really look forward to the concert every semester. It's fun because the pieces are usually a challenge, and I enjoy playing with the other people in the ensemble. Anyway, I'm frustrated about that, and my dad told me I should be happy I will at least be there to listen to the concert. He's totally right, but I think it's valid for me to be upset that I can't be up on stage with everyone else tomorrow. It's hard being deprived of everything you love doing. But at least it's only been a couple months, and it shouldn't be much longer. I'll be there to cheer everyone on because that's the next best thing.

I've been trying to not feel sorry for myself but it's hard sometimes. After being in an accident, you're expected not only to heal, but also to be "strong". To be a role model. To be so thankful for everything that you can ignore all the hardships. I'm trying to be all of those things, but sometimes I can't help it - my mind wanders and I think about how badly I want to be playing music, or snowboarding, or just comfortably curled up on my futon with my kitties. And I feel like it probably isn't right for me to even say all that, because I know how lucky I am. All day I sit here and think about all the "what-ifs", and I think about how everyone else is recovering - physically, emotionally, or both. It isn't fair for any of us.

Well, there are like two weeks of school left, and I have about four papers to write. It's a good thing I only kept two of my classes this semester. I have to work hard the next couple weeks because nobody is going to write those papers for me. Unfortunately nobody is going to do my physical therapy for me either, and that's taking precedence over school. Oh well, I'll manage - I always do.

Today wasn't as bad as it sounds. The Soules and Andrea came to visit me, which was a lot of fun. I'll be happy when I can start spending more time in the Fine Arts building - I miss everyone!