things

things

Spring break was good. It was so nice to actually have time to relax. It kind of made me wonder why I'm taking so many classes this semester, but whatever, at least I'll graduate someday.

On Friday my parents and I took a little overnight trip to the cities. We hit up IKEA and Mall of America and went to the Dakota jazz club. I used my crutches at IKEA & MOA because I still can't go very long distances without at least one crutch. It's been a while since I've used both crutches, and it reminded me how much I HATED it. I hate not having my hands free to open doors or carry things, and it annoys me how rude people are. When I'm on crutches, people are always staring at me or won't get out of my way. It didn't help that the mall was really crowded, but I found a dress for the ball, so at least it was a worthwhile venture.

The Dakota was really neat. We caught two bands there, including Sean's band. I think they were happy to see a familiar face, but there were actually a lot of people from EC there. I was surprised to see Mr. Baca there, and I was more surprised when he came over and gave me a hug. He said he's been meaning to talk to me for a while but he wanted to wait until I recovered a little more. He asked if he could take me out to lunch sometime, and I was really flattered. He said he wants to hear my account of the accident. Before that I didn't think he even knew my name, and he's kind of a big deal in the music department, so that's pretty cool. I guess it's just another example of how much the music faculty in general cares about the students.

I went to the winterguard dress rehearsal on Sunday and it was really nice. I know Jazzfest is going on this weekend, but if you're going to be in the cities, you should check out the guard. They've put a lot of work into the show and it really looks awesome. Maybe Ali or Amber can give me more detailed info on where/when it is. ;) I don't know if I'll be there because I might be taking photos for Jazzfest...? Can someone please fill me in on the plans for that?

Spring break ended way too soon. I guess I actually got a lot done: I wrote a paper (for one of the classes I took an incomplete in last semester), Ali and I found an apartment for June, and I found a dress and shoes for the ball. Also, I had plenty of time to do my exercises every day. I wish I would have realized the Fine Arts building was open, though - I could have gotten some practicing done.

Today I was reminded why I'm only taking nine credits. I had three classes today, and since I was done by 1:00, I figured I could get some other things done. I ended up having to come home and elevate my foot because I was so sore, and then I was exhausted so I took a long nap. If I'm lucky I'll have enough energy and time to exercise and go to the practice rooms before the night is over.

I feel like my progress has been kind of stagnant lately. My physical therapist and athletic trainers keep telling me how much better I'm getting, but I think my advances have been pretty small lately. I'm trying to push myself more so that I can make more progress. In the past couple days, I've been trying to walk farther without using a crutch, which is hard because I've been so sore. Also, I think I need to set specific short- and long-term goals for myself.

My short-term goals: I want to be able to walk barefoot without crutches, and hopefully soon I won't need to use a crutch around the house. Also, I want to get rid of my limp before the ball. That one's a little harder. I limp because my ankle hurts so much and because my knee doesn't go totally straight yet, and I can't see either of those things getting much better in the next month. I hope it works out though because I'd look pretty stupid limping around in a ballgown.

My long-term goals: I want my stamina and strength to be as good or better than it was before the accident. I used to have the energy to have classes, work, and rehearsals from like 9 in the morning until 11 at night. Right now I'm lucky if I get through the day without taking a nap, but I should get more energy over time. As far as strength goes, before the accident I did some weightlifting several times a week and I used to go biking pretty much every day. I'll be happy when I can do things like that again.

As far as surgeries go, I want to get the metal taken out of my leg in June and maybe I can get my ACL fixed after I graduate in December. My recovery never goes according to plan, but it's nice to dream. I guess one of the life lessons I'm learning is that you can't plan everything. Life doesn't just fit neatly into a two-semester schedule.

I have an appointment with my knee doctor on Thursday. I'm not looking forward to it because I never get any good news about my knee. My knee doesn't fully straighten yet and I don't think it ever will. If my knee doesn't fully straighten, I can't get my ACL fixed. I try not to think about that too much because it's depressing.

I hope I start making greater progress soon, because I am getting frustrated. I want to be a normal 23-year-old again. I know I'm lucky that I'll get pretty much back to normal someday - trust me, nobody understands that as well as I do - but I'm so drained.

If you're wondering, I changed the name on my blog so I'm slightly less searchable. I'm flattered that people want to read up on how I'm doing, but I don't want to put myself out there to the extent that my blog comes up when people Google me.

Random thought: does anyone else think it's weird that the Speculator hasn't touched the bus crash story since it happened? When that football player sustained a brain injury a couple years back, the paper did a few follow-ups on him and they got a pretty good response from it. You'd think they'd do a follow-up or something on the accident since so many students were affected by the accident. But we're in high school, and music geeks aren't as important as football players. Someone should take our student newspaper out back and shoot it already.

It is not 4:19.