buses

buses

I used to think of marching band whenever I caught a whiff of diesel fuel. There was no better feeling than climbing onto a warm bus after a morning rehearsal, and being on our way to a marching band competition.

Now, whenever I get close to a bus, I just feel like throwing up.

When you stop to think about it, it's kind of amazing that every day, people all across the world get into cars, buses, and trains without thinking twice about it. We trust that these huge vessels of metal and glass will get us from point A to point B without incident. And we have to trust that; otherwise nobody would ever travel and nothing would ever get done.

Saturday is our first marching band competition of the season. It's the first time since the accident that I'll be on a bus. I know nothing bad is going to happen. But it's going to be hard sitting in that bus and NOT thinking about what those seats and overhead compartments could do to me - what they did do to me during my last bus ride.

I know that I'll be okay. I didn't really even want to be in cars after the accident, but I got over that. I had appointments almost daily, half an hour away from where I was living, sometimes over snowy/icy roads. To make things even more difficult, I couldn't drive for four months after the accident, so I had to re-learn to trust other drivers. I still like driving more than I like being a passenger (and I'll probably be like that for the rest of my life thanks to the accident), but I know that after enough time on a bus, I'll get used to it. I might not be comfortable with it, but I'll be okay.

In any case, I'll probably need some extra hugs this week. Getting on that bus is probably going to be one of the hardest things I'll ever do, but I know I'll be a stronger person because of it.