moving

moving

Sorry for the lack of updates, Ali and I are in the midst of moving. The new place is great! It's taking me a long time to get settled because I have to take breaks so often. I have a lot of stuff, and a small bedroom. It should all fit, but the process is like playing Tetris. I am currently resting with my foot up because my ankle has been swelling pretty badly. Last night I had to use one of my crutches to help me walk because it hurt so much. I guess I should take more breaks, but that's annoying because I just want to finish unpacking. Anyway, if you want to come visit, give me a call and I'll let you know where the new place is. :)

Check out Becky's blog to read what her sister Theresa has been going through. I'm so glad she's okay.

vent

vent

Okay... I knew I shouldn't have expected to do very well in school this past semester, but I've always tried to get good grades, and it's hard for me to watch that go down the drain. Especially since I WOULD be doing well if it hadn't been for the accident. Prior to October I was working hard to get myself ready for grad school, and now it's frustrating beyond words that I've had to shift my focus. I guess I shouldn't be so upset because it's not like I did horribly in all my classes, but my grades are worse (by far) than what I would normally achieve. These past seven months have required more determination and strength than I ever knew I had, and I've never worked so hard at school as I did this past semester. I wish my grades reflected that.

I was so proud of myself for finishing all my school work for the past year, and then I got an email from one of my profs from last semester. I just finished up all my outstanding papers from that class, and she sent me an email picking apart everything I've turned in. I can take constructive criticism (I mean, come on, I studied piano under Dossin) but it was more critical than constructive, especially considering the circumstances under which I wrote those papers. Then I saw my grades for a couple of the classes I took this semester, and let's just say I don't normally see those grade letters on my transcript. At least I passed.

Whatever. I'm tired and I wish I could just close this chapter of my life already.

all these things that i've done

all these things that i've done

This semester, I:
had two surgeries.
moved back to EC.
was able to start driving again (and learned how to drive stick while I was at it).
learned how to walk without crutches.
played tympani at Viennese ball (a week after having surgery).
played piano on a whole bunch of pieces for wind symphony.
started working on a really difficult marimba solo.
signed a lease on a new apartment.
took 9 credits of classes.
wrote six papers so that I could finish my incompletes from last semester.
did lots of other things I'm forgetting.

So this is pretty much the same post as yesterday, but I accomplished a lot this semester, so I'm happy :)

an open letter

an open letter

...to anyone who worried about or doubted my ability to finish my classes this year:

No need to worry anymore. I just finished my final paper for my last incomplete class (a few days early, even). I worked my butt off and completed 9 credits for this semester and my 6 credits (three classes) worth of incompletes from last semester. I'm not even close to being done with this incredibly difficult period of my life, but I am finally free from school, at least for a few months. I can't even express how good that feels.

Hey 2005-2006 school year: Fuck off. I won.

:)

i need a fucking vacation

i need a fucking vacation

I want to take a flight somewhere - it doesn't really matter where. That's all I've wanted to do since October. It won't happen anytime soon because I don't have any money.

you will have this moment for the rest of your lives

you will have this moment for the rest of your lives

Yesterday was the big day - the memorial concert. It was pretty much everything you would expect: there were moments of sadness, joy, and everything in between, accompanied by some amazing music. I think all the ensembles played really well. I got to play with the 11/12th grade band and a bunch of fellow alumni, and then I played with UWEC's wind symphony. The chi-hi seniors played with us on the world premiere of "Threnody" - the commissioned piece written by Jim Bonney. (Read his blog entry about the concert. He may not be Yeats or Kipling, but he can put the experience into words better than I can.)

I talked with Jim before and after the concert, and I can't say enough nice things about him. It must have been hard for him to write the piece from an outsider's perspective, but he told me that he followed all the news stories and tried to learn as much as he could about the accident and its aftermath. He may be an outsider, but the piece is perfect. If you weren't there to hear it, I'll let you know when I get the recording.

It was nice to talk to people before and after the concert. I got to catch up with a lot of alumni that I haven't seen in a while. I also got to talk with one of the chaperones who was on one of the buses and helped out immediately following the accident. She wanted to know all about how I'm doing and how my head healed up. It was hard to talk to her because I remember everything that happened after the accident except for who was with me. I know she helped save my life, but I don't remember specifics. Some things are too hard to talk about still, and I'm not ready to hear her account of the accident.

I guess I thought the concert would be my chance to finally grieve about the accident. As Sean told me, this would be my chance to "let it all out". But I didn't - maybe I'm just not there in the grieving process yet. I thought I would feel better after the concert, like I'd have some closure. I don't think I achieved that though. I almost feel worse now - like that was my chance to "get over it" and I didn't. It was hard for me to really express how I was feeling because I think I'm farther behind most people in the grieving process and I didn't want to bring everyone down. Anyway, I'm starting to truly understand that this is going to affect me for the rest of my life, and only time is going to make it easier. If I've learned anything through this experience, it's how to be patient - not only to get through my physical recovery, but to cope with the losses.

After the concert, a bunch of us went out for a while and ended up talking about what everyone remembered of the accident. It was incredibly hard to listen to everyone's accounts, but I wanted to know anyway. It was hard because I know what everyone was going through - dealing with their own injuries and with the uncertainty about how everyone else was doing. I learned a little more about Branden's last hours, and that was really sad. During the conversation I remembered some new things, like when I was in the ER and I asked the nurses, "was anyone killed?" - they didn't know how to respond. I would give anything to not have any memories of the accident aftermath or the ER.

A few of us made our way to some of the other bars then and I saw a lot of old and new friends, and had a great time, all things considered. Normally I'm shy around people I don't know very well, but I'm trying to change that. I feel like I missed out because I never got to know Branden very well, and I don't want to miss out on anything else. Also, I know that I'm going to be leaving EC in another year, so I want to make the most of it. Life is short.

This week is going to be bittersweet - I have a couple finals and then I'll be saying goodbye to a few people who are moving away, on to bigger and better things. It makes me kind of sad to know that I should also be moving on to something else, but there are worse things in the world than being stuck in a place like EC for another year.

This is random, but listen to Bjork's "Overture" off her "Selmasongs" CD. It's amazing.

dear everyone

dear everyone

If you were ever in Chi-Hi's marching band or worked with them at all, you should wear your charm necklace thing if you come to the concert on Saturday. Hmm, now I have to figure out where mine is...

take the bad with the good

take the bad with the good

I met with my athletic trainer today and got some good news: I can start going to the gym again. Considering I used to go to the gym 3-5 times a week, this is a step toward normalcy for me. I'll obviously only be doing very light stuff for a while, but that's okay. My trainer was excited to hear that I went on a bike ride a couple days ago. He said that's a good thing to do, as long as I stay on flat, paved roads. I went on a bike ride again this afternoon just after the sun came out, and it was so nice to ride around and smell all the lilacs and to see ducks and deer wandering around my neighborhood. It was way better than using my stationary bike in the living room.

I think I'm going to be happier now that I can start working and going to the gym/going for bike rides again because I used to do those things a lot. I'm still reminded of the accident during pretty much everything I do because it's so difficult to do anything physical - including just walking. Anyway, life is starting to get back to "normal". It's kind of depressing though to realize that I still have two more surgeries to go. So things are getting back to "normal", but it won't stay that way for long.

While I was at physical therapy, I met a patient who was in a construction accident last summer. His accident was similar to mine in some ways, but I won't go into it on here. He had a lot of serious injuries - probably worse than me. We commiserated about the fact that weather changes (especially rain) make us both sore, and that we have a hard time walking after we've been sitting for a while. We laughed about it, but I wonder if those problems will ever completely go away.

My mom sent me an email yesterday that basically outlined all the things I need to do before I move, including a schedule of what I should have packed by when. What an insult. I have moved before. My mom insists that this time is different, but the other times I moved, I also had to pack up all my stuff, take my posters off the walls, etc. Ever since the accident my mom has been treating me like I'm a lot younger than I really am. It's starting to get pretty aggravating. I know it's just because she cares, and the accident really shook her up, and blah blah blah. But she needs to step back now and let me be an adult.

Speaking of moving, I'm looking forward to it. I'm ready for a change of scenery. Also, I'm glad my bedroom is on the first floor of my new place. My left hip has been killing me and I'm assuming it's because stairs are still pretty hard for me. I use stairs a lot right now because my bedroom here is on the second floor.

Yesterday and today in wind symphony rehearsal we worked on the commissioned piece that we're playing in the memorial concert. It's a really nice piece, but I'll agree with Andrea on this one - I wish we had no reason to play it at all. It's the last piece we're going to play on Saturday, and I wish that weren't true. It's just such a somber piece to end with. We ended rehearsal yesterday and today with it, and then I had a hard time getting it off my mind. Last night Andrea, Raji and I went to the Stonesthrow which was exactly what I needed after being in band and then thinking about it for the rest of the day. The concert on Saturday will probably be hard for me. Hugs would be appreciated. I wasn't able to attend any of the funerals, so hopefully the concert will bring some closure for me.

accomplishments and stuff

accomplishments and stuff

Friday I met with my ankle doctor and we talked about my upcoming surgeries. He wants me to call him when I'm done with my antibiotics and when my ankle is all healed up (so probably in another few weeks) and he'll take the metal out of my leg. I have a choice of having just some of the metal taken out or all of it. I'll probably just have it all taken out. My doctor said it's okay for me to go back to work on a (very) limited basis, which I'm happy about. I love my job (at a one-hour photo lab), so I've missed it. I'm glad things are going to start getting back to "normal". It will be kind of weird though because I'll be working like once a week for a few weeks and then I'll be laid up from another surgery.

We had a marching band staff meeting on Friday, which went pretty well. Unfortunately not many people could be there - it's a busy time of year. Andrei and I will probably be writing some mallet parts, which could be kind of stressful because I can never figure out how difficult of parts to write, but we'll figure it out. I don't think there's a whole lot to say about the meeting, except that it kind of hit me how many things we have working against us. It's always hard to coordinate a band that size, but on top of that we're dealing with the fact that one of our band directors, who wrote most of the show every year, is no longer with us. Also, there's that part about us all having to get back on a bus to go to/from the competitions. Then there's the fact that we, as a band, went through a horrible event and we're still working through it. It should be an interesting season, that's for sure. I'd be lying if I said I'm completely pumped for the season to start. I definitely have mixed feelings, but I know it will be very rewarding in the end.

After the meeting, we hung out at C's house for a while and then Liz, Raji and I went back to EC. We had a good talk on the way home. I tend to feel like people don't want to talk about the accident anymore, or are "over" it, or whatever. When my friend Paul died four years ago, I remember there was a period of time afterwards when people had a hard time talking or thinking about anything other than his death. Then gradually people were probably still thinking about it but didn't want to talk about it as much anymore. I'm not sure if people got over it or if they just felt like they shouldn't talk about it anymore. I think it was the latter. People probably didn't want to seem like they were dwelling on it, and didn't want others to think they were just looking for attention. In truth I think it was on everyone's mind for a long time. For a lot of us, it was the first time we'd lost a peer, and that's a hard thing to come to grips with. I think, when it comes to the accident, we're in that phase now. I talk about it probably too much, but it helps me to do so. I hope people don't think I'm dwelling on it or whatever, but it was a huge life-changing event, so of course I'm still going to talk about it. I hope everyone else isn't trying to censor themselves because they're worried about what others will think of them. It affected so many people on so many levels - I don't think most of us will ever "get over" it.

Anyway... Today's wind symphony concert was fun, but I can't help feeling like I was a little underprepared. Practicing is usually my top priority and normally I wouldn't be caught dead being underprepared for a concert, but I guess these days boring things like appointments and resting have to take a higher priority. Anyway, I played fine, just not as well as I could have under different circumstances. Just the fact that I could play at all is an accomplishment.

After the concert and going out to dinner, I came home and finished my music history paper. I'm DONE!! I just have to proof-read it and add an appendix and it will be ready to turn in. My independent study paper is pretty much done also, and now I just need to write a short research paper for my women's studies class and take a couple finals and then the school year from hell will be over. Good riddance.

It was such a nice day out, I decided to try going for a bike ride after I finished my paper. I tried it once like a month ago and it really didn't work out so well - I couldn't get my bike going, and it was scary trying. It was scary when I tried again today, but once I got going, it was pretty easy. I rode around my neighborhood for a few minutes and then came home and now I'm exhausted. I used to ride about eight miles a day, and of course I'm still a long way from that, but it feels so good to reach my goal of being able to get back on my bike.

for sale

for sale

I'm trying to get rid of the following things before I move:

Older Kenmore washer & dryer. Both are in working condition. $75/pair or best offer.

Computer desk. It's nice and pretty big (probably 6 feet by 2 feet) but I don't have room for it in my new place. It has a keyboard tray, a couple drawers, and a little cabinet. $30 or best offer (unless Dan wants it back).

Please let me know ASAP if you're interested :)

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

0% Dixie

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

i wish i could go for a bike ride

i wish i could go for a bike ride

(http://www.nataliedee.com/)

school: stopit

school: stopit

Well, we're almost to the end of the semester - just a couple weeks left. I only have two finals, but I also have to finish up my incompletes from last semester. I was really stressed by that fact, but now I think I'll be okay. I have to finish my research paper for my independent study, and then tweak it a little bit to make it my music history paper. I have 11 pages written and I'm almost done. Within the past week I have written two papers for my women's studies class, and I have one short research paper left to do, which should be easy because I've already done the research. I'll be so glad when it's over. I think the best part will be that nobody can nag me about it anymore. People seem to have a hard time understanding how difficult it is for me to deal with school right now. If I'm not at some appointment or in class, I'm sleeping. If I'm actually awake and have free time, I usually have too much on my mind to do anything worthwhile (so I do things like writing in my blog).

At least I've been too busy to think much about the fact that I should be graduating in a few weeks. Right now I should be getting ready to move somewhere and go to grad school. Last week someone asked me if I'm all ready to graduate. Apparently she missed the memo that I'm going to be around an extra semester. It sort of hit me then because I hadn't been thinking about it much. If things had only happened a little differently back in October, my biggest worry right now (besides my grandma) would be graduating and all the stuff that entails. Oh well, I guess it's not like I have nothing to look forward to. I'm excited to move into our new place, and I have some neat classes scheduled for next semester.

The past few days have been rough on me. I have a total lack of energy, to the point where it's hard to get out of bed. Also, I've been incredibly achy and stiff. I don't know if it's the weather or what. I've been trying to exercise more but nothing seems to help. It's really hard to walk. Well, harder than usual anyway.

I could go on with complaints but I'll stop there. In lighter news, Raji and I went to a thrift store over the weekend to find him a dresser. We didn't find him a dresser, but we did find me a sweet Kodak camera bag from the 80s. It's bright yellow and says "Kodak Disc Film" on it. It's funny because Kodak hasn't made disc film in like 15 years. Then we had an amazing find: an original 1916 Edison cabinet phonograph. It is in pretty bad shape but it works. It was marked down to $150 but was on sale that day for 50% off, so we bought it. We plan on restoring it (with the help of Stenner) and maybe re-selling it, and I think it will look awesome when we're done. I'll upload some photos once we get around to taking some, but it's not much to look at yet. Anyway, now we have a fun summer project - something else to look forward to.

why hello blogspot

why hello blogspot

I'm so glad this week is pretty much over! I had a lot going on - still recovering from surgery, V-ball, had to do lots of work on my independent study paper, and then I accompanied Kyle G. during the percussion recital yesterday. I was so exhausted for a few days after the ball but I didn't have much time to sleep since I was so busy doing homework and practicing. Anyway, it's good to have the ball and the recital overwith, so now I can concentrate on finishing up my school work.

On Monday I went to Chippewa to watch some 8th graders audition for next school year's marching band. There are some really talented kids coming up, so the auditions went well. It was weird not having G there. I don't think I'll ever get used to him not being around for marching band stuff. After the auditions, Brian talked with Todd and me about inventory - what we have, what needs to be replaced, etc. G used to take care of all that stuff, and kept inventory in his head, so we've been kind of struggling to figure out what we need to order for this season. I think Brian has it all figured out now though.

This season is going to be crazy. We'll have over 200 band members!! We're usually closer to... what... like 180? It will be a very difficult season but it will be rewarding at the same time. Everyone will be so focused and dedicated. Also, we have some new staff members, so that should be fun :)

I think Chi-Hi will be getting a new marimba & vibraphone before the season starts. We just got a new xylo, too. Yay, new things! Brian might sell me one of their vibraphones if he decides to buy a new one. I'm really excited about that. The one I would buy belonged to G before he donated it to the school, and it's the instrument I played for my sophomore year in marching band, so obviously it has sentimental value to me. And I've always wanted vibes - they sound so beautiful.

Brian and I went out for a beer after the auditions and talked about all sorts of stuff. I worry about him. The rest of us are able to find people to talk to whenever we're having a rough time. We're surrounded by people who were affected by the accident. I don't know if Brian really has that. Also, he's only able to work like six hours a week, and I know that must be tough. It was so depressing for me to be sitting in bed at my parents' house for months while everyone else was in school and working and doing normal things like that. Everyone would always joke with me and say it must be nice to have so much time off, but I hated it. Anyway, I want to try and hang out with Brian more.

An update on my grandma: She has lung cancer, which I don't think was a big surprise to any of us. Luckily it's non-small cell cancer, whatever that means, but Eric the med student says that's good. She will begin chemo/radiation soon. I'll be going to Illinois to visit her hopefully within the next few weeks.

In random news, today I had an appointment with an infection specialist. I guess an infection or two showed up in some cultures taken during my surgery, so my ankle doctor put me on antibiotics and sent me to this specialist. My ankle doc thinks the infection might have been a lab contaminant, but he wanted to be cautious. Anyway, I guess my ankle looked pretty icky when they opened it up, so maybe I do have an infection. That would probably explain why it hasn't been healing very well. I have to take antibiotics for like another four weeks, which sucks because they make me kind of dizzy/tired. Oh well, I guess that's better than having an infection.

too busy

too busy

Hey Pokey, here's your update ;)

I've been way too busy. What an awful time to have surgery - right during the rush to get through the end of the semester. I've been sleeping a lot, and going to some classes, and going to lots of appointments with various doctors. My ankle has been feeling okay. This surgery was not as bad as the others, or at least I haven't had any major problems so far (cross your fingers). I used crutches up until Friday, then decided it was time to ditch them because there was no way I was going to bring them to the ball. I probably pushed myself a little too much, and I'm feeling it now, but it was worth it.

Hmm, I have lots of stuff to talk about... I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first. My grandma has been really sick lately. My parents went down to visit her in the hospital this weekend. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it doesn't sound good. She's pushing 80 and she's been a heavy smoker all her life. Dear everyone, don't smoke. Apparently this is the week for hospitalizations/surgeries: my grandma's in the hospital, my uncle spent some time in the hospital and then he went back for surgery, I had my ankle surgery last week, and my brother had his wisdom teeth out a few days ago.

In lighter medical news, I got my new knee brace. It's great - when I wear it, my knee doesn't pop when I walk. I wish it wasn't so bulky, but whatever.

I'm glad V-ball is out of the way, but I'm still stressed out. I'm Kyle's accompanist for a piece on the percussion recital (which is at 5 pm on Wednesday in Gantner and you should come) and I didn't look at the piece much until recently. It's an easy part though so I'm not too worried about it. Life would be a whole lot easier right now if I didn't have unfinished school work from last semester hanging over my head. Everyone keeps asking me how that's going, and then I get depressed. I'd love to just finish it and get it overwith, but I never have any time. I spend so much time sleeping and exercising and working on my classes for this semester. Dr. Don is starting to get impatient with me again, and I had to explain to him that this past week has been really overwhelming since I'm still recovering from surgery. Whatever, I'll add a bunch of stuff to my research paper this week and he'll be happy again.

I'm kind of relieved now that V-ball is over. I was worried that I would be limping a lot and people would stare at me and I'd feel stupid, or I'd get stepped on, or my ankle would give out, or whatever. Luckily nobody stepped on me, and with a lot of effort, I did a pretty good job of walking without a limp. Nothing bad happened, but I did get pretty sore by the end of the second night, and I'll be sore for the next couple days. I'm so glad I did the orchestra gig (playing tympani). I would definitely recommend not taking a tympani gig a week after having ankle surgery, as it makes tuning difficult, but it wasn't too bad. I pushed myself pretty hard to do that gig, but I would have been sad if I hadn't done it. It was my fourth year playing tympani with the orchestra, and I couldn't imagine not playing just because it hurt too much. I've missed out on enough of my life because of my injuries - I wasn't going to let V-ball slip by too.

I think the best part about the ball was hanging out with my date (Ben) and some of the Jazz I guys afterwards. Last night we hung out pretty much until they kicked us out, then we went to Jeff & Jim's (all dressed up, at bar close - whoops), and then we went to a house party at Errin's. It was a blast, and my abs are pretty sore now from laughing so much.

Here are some pictures Raji took of me, all ready to go to the ball (and with some new colors in my hair):




Also, last week I mentioned that I was going to be in the Leader Telegram. The story only ran in the print edition of the paper, but the reporter was nice enough to email the story to my mom. Here it is:

By Chris Vetter
Chippewa Falls News Bureau

Amy Bowen, 23, had another surgery on Thursday, and she will likely have two more surgeries on her injured right leg by the end of the summer.
“I had a metal plate and some screws taken out of my ankle,” Bowen said. “They were bothering me. It will be a relief when it’s healed.”
Bowen returned to her apartment in Eau Claire in mid-February, and she is taking a limited schedule of 9 credits at UW-Eau Claire. Injuries suffered in the bus crash forced her to miss school, and she will now graduate in December rather than this spring.
Bowen said she is happy she is driving again, and she has a handicap sticker for her vehicle.
“It’s a big morale boost,” she said.
Bowen said she was aware that the six-month mark since the crash occurred was coming up.
“If you had told me after the accident that I was still having surgeries this long after the accident, I would have been surprised,” she said.
Bowen’s leg was severely injured in the crash, and a titanium rod was put inside her femur, the bone in the right leg. The next surgery will be to remove the rod, and another surgery later this summer will be to repair her ACL.
“I still have a limp, but it’s getting better,” Bowen said. “I’m getting a kneebrace, and that will help too.”
Amy’s mom, Anne Bowen, said it was good that her daughter is getting around in her car and slowly recovering.
“We’re just trying to get her healthy again,” Anne Bowen said.

six months later

six months later

As you probably know, today marks six months since the accident. I could probably write forever on this topic, and on how my life has changed, but I am only staying awake long enough for the painkillers to kick in. This will probably be a post of random thoughts since I'm tired and on drugs.

Six months. It seems like it's been forever, doesn't it? But as I said in my last post, it doesn't feel like the accident was something that happened six months ago - it's something that continues to affect me in every aspect of my life. At least things are starting to get back to normal I guess. I just can't believe I still have two surgeries to go. I have come so far, though. I overcame a lot, and I am proud of myself for being strong. This has been the most difficult period of my life, and I probably (hopefully) will never have to go through anything like this again.

When you're getting ready to graduate from college, six months is an eternity. You know what I should be doing with my life right now? I should be getting ready to graduate in May, and I should be all set to move somewhere and go to grad school in the fall. I'm angry that my plans had to be postponed, but I know I'm lucky because those opportunities are still in my future.

I sort of lost my train of thought, but here is what's important: you never know when something bad is going to happen. That's such a cliche and I really can't think of a better way to put it into words, but I know you all understand. Today everyone probably thought back to that moment, six months ago, when they found out what happened. I remembered what it was like waking up on that dark bus in the middle of nowhere and just knowing that everything was different. I've learned many tough lessons in the past six months, and the most important is that life is completely unpredictable. It's pointless to have regrets, or to go through life not letting people know how much you appreciate them. So I know this is sappy, but thank you all for being there for me.

five surgeries down, two to go

five surgeries down, two to go

I have the BEST roommate in the world! Yesterday when I came home from surgery, I saw a huge rabbit balloon in my room, a vase of flowers, and my favorite flavor of Jelly Bellys. Ali also made me a card and bought my favorite kind of pie. Yesterday she missed her night class so she could stay home and take care of me. I'm lucky to have such a caring roommate! She's been so helpful through all of this - I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm so glad that I can recover from surgery at my house now instead of at my parents' house. It's much more relaxing here, and it's easier for people to come visit me. Raji has been over a lot to take care of me, and that's cool because he had a hard time visiting me after the other surgeries since I was a half hour away and his work schedule is so weird.

As I said yesterday, surgery went fine. I'm still feeling okay but maybe a little more sore. In my experience with ankle surgeries, it's going to feel just fine for a few days and then will probably hurt like a bitch, so I'm bracing myself and using my painkillers sparingly until then. Hopefully it will be okay though now that the metal is out.

My doctor talked to me a little after the surgery yesterday (and I actually remember the conversation this time). He said that the whole rod will have to come out of my femur in a separate surgery before my ACL can be reconstructed. That's not the news I was hoping to hear, but I guess I'm not surprised. It would suck if they went in to fix the ACL and realized they didn't have enough room with the rod in there. So, it's coming out. It's up to me when I get it out, so I'm guessing I'll have it done the second or third week in June, once I'm settled in my new place. Hopefully I can get the ACL fixed soon after that.

I was interviewed by the Leader-Telegram today - apparently they are checking up on a bunch of the people who were hurt in the accident, as this weekend will mark six months since then. The reporter asked me like 308,629 times if I realized that 6-month mark is coming up. Yes, thanks. He asked me what I thought about how much time has passed or whatever. I don't know if he was expecting me to say "wow, that was a long time ago!" or something, but it's weird to think of it as something that happened once six months ago since it's still affecting everything I do every day. I told him that if someone would have told me back then that I'd still be dealing with surgeries six months later (and then more over the summer), I'd have never believed them. Anyway, it's good they got a hold of me this time, since they didn't try very hard last time. I'm glad the LT and the Herald are still following up on us, unlike those hacks at the Speculator who are always too busy writing about themselves.

Anyway, I hope this post made sense. I'm pretty out of it right now. It's definitely naptime.

post-op

post-op

Surgery went fine. I'm super tired and sore. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow because it will probably hurt even more. At least I have painkillers. If you want to come visit, that would be awesome :) Just give me a call first.

Here's the metal that was in my ankle:
Ignore the stupid border. Anyway, the longer screw is about 2" long. It's all a lot smaller than I expected!

dread

dread

I'm really not looking forward to surgery tomorrow.

Please come visit me! Does anyone want to hang out with me like all day tomorrow so my mom doesn't feel the need to hang around my house and fret over me? That would be cool. I'll be coming home sometime tomorrow morning.

pet peeve

pet peeve

It seems like every time I go shopping, and I'm just about to a checkout lane, some soccer mom with a full cart zooms around me to take advantage of the better spot in line. Seriously, I was almost there. I'm not trying to be slow. I know your life is incredibly important and busy, but look, I only have like five items anyway. Don't be an asshole.