anyone out there?

Today I had my second appointment with my new physical therapists. So far it's going well - they seem to really know what they're doing. It didn't take them long to isolate all my major issues (stiff heel, ankle, and kneecap). They seem to have good ideas, and they think I'll be able to regain at least a little motion in my ankle. My kneecap apparently is pretty much locked, so I don't know that it's going to get much better. But they have me doing exercises to target my overcompensation issues, so eventually my kneecap will hopefully move in a more natural way.

PT out here is so different. The office I go to is downtown, on the eighth floor of a big office building. The view is amazing, and on a clear day (like today) you can see Mt. Rainier. I'm really happy with this place so far as compared to the other place I tried. In addition to being very knowledgeable, they're really compassionate too. It's hard doing this out here though, where I don't know anyone... I'm used to the ortho wing at Midelfort, where just about everyone knew me by name. They all remember the first day I went over there - when I got my first cast put on, before I was discharged from the hospital - and after that, they would always remind me how far I've come and tell me how proud they are of me. It was nice working with people who knew me and knew what happened. It's so bizarre trying to explain the accident to people out here. I feel like I'm making something up - it doesn't sound like something that would really happen. Anyway, my current therapists weren't there when it happened, but they're doing their best to try and understand what I've been through and what I'm still going through.

If I were still going to UWEC, I'd be starting school after this weekend. It's kind of sad to think that everyone back home is getting together again after a summer apart, and I'm not there to enjoy it. It's also weird not going back to school there. But then I remember how frustrated I was at the beginning of the past couple of semesters when I knew I should have graduated already, but because of the accident, I was behind in school. I guess it's not too sad when I stop and think about the fact that I'm doing something new and exciting, and I'm finally going to grad school.

Anyway, I'm excited for this weekend - Ben H-D and Geoff will both be in town! Hanging out with them will definitely be a good change of pace.

Here are some pics from last weekend & earlier this week. The first is the Olympics and Puget Sound (as seen from Sunset Hill), the second is pretty self-explanatory (from Kerry Park), and the third is Mt. Rainier and Lake Washington (from Magnuson Park).

nothing much

I made some calls today and I think I may have found a new physical therapist. That's good because I've been really stiff and sore lately. I've definitely been more active since I moved out here, which is a good thing, but I don't think my knee & ankle are adjusting very well. The outside of my knee is starting to hurt again, and I'm getting more sharp pains/stiffness in my ankle. No fun...

Anyway, here are some pics from Volunteer Park:



The above two pics are from the plant conservatory. I wish I'd gotten a better wide-angle shot that showed how neat the place was. It had five different rooms, including a palm room (where these were from) and a cactus room. I took the first one while standing underneath the leaf - it was huge.

Lake Washington and the Cascade Mountains, as seen from the Volunteer Park water tower.

Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains (again, from the water tower).


The steps back down. There were a lot of stairs, but the view was worth it.

day in review

Today I had my first physical therapy appointment since moving out here. It was pretty miserable. My therapist didn't seem to have much experience with my injuries, and spent the hour-long appointment on a soapbox about the Mayo health system. In the process, he made me feel like crap about my recovery, wasted my time, and generally made me really upset. I don't care what health system I'm in, I just want to be able to walk without being in pain. I should have known he'd be a pompous ass when he asked me where I was from and then said, "oh, Wisconsin? I'm sorry." Tomorrow I'm going to look for another therapist.

After my terrible morning, I went for a walk through Magnuson Park. It's on Lake Washington and has a nice view of the Cascades. Here are some pictures:








Also, I forgot to post some pics from last week, when I went to Snoqualmie Falls. Here they are:




That's what's new with me. I hope marching band is going well. Maybe the weather will start cooperating..?

japanese gardens and airplanes

Yesterday I went to a Japanese Garden. It was expensive ($5), and I think it would have been prettier in the spring, but it was neat anyway. Here are some pics:

turtles! ^

Today one of my friends took me to Boeing's Friends and Family day, which the company does every year. It was really neat - it was an insider's look at the factory. I got to walk all around the factory and see lots of planes in various stages of being built. I would have taken pictures, but cameras weren't allowed.

My ankle is so sore now - apparently the factory is the largest building (by volume) in the world, and we spent four hours walking all over. I turned down an invitation to hang out tonight because my ankle hurts too much to walk :(

I'm glad I did the Boeing thing though, it was cool. I had Holsinger's "To Tame the Perilous Skies" stuck in my head from looking at all those planes. Remember when Chi-Hi did that for marching band? That was one of my favorite shows.

It sounds like there's some icky weather going on back home and in various tropical places. I hope everyone is safe! It was winter and summer all in one day here: it was 55 degrees and misting this morning, then by this afternoon it was 70 degrees and sunny. Weird.

bunch of pics

View from the ferry terminal before going to Bainbridge Island

Passing by another ferry

Fay Bainbridge State Park

My dad took this one on the ferry's return trip

View from Gasworks Park

All the rest of these (except the last one) are from Gasworks Park

(click for a bigger version)

Kerry Park

hello from seattle!

Hi everyone! I guess it's been a long time since I updated. Life has been pretty busy over the past few weeks, between packing, road-tripping, and moving in. I'm finally here and getting settled.

A few highlights from the road trip:

Minnesota: kind of flat.

South Dakota: flat, but there are some cool things to see. We stayed at a tiny town and the locals bought us beer. Here are some pics from SD:







Wyoming: very pretty. We stayed there a few days and spent some quality time with Dan and Tenley and their dog Bumble. We went horseback riding one day, and the next day we went for a scenic raft trip down the Snake River. We spent some time wandering around the square in Jackson, and went to some cowboy bars. We went to the Four Seasons one night for dinner. It was very fancy - I had antelope for the first time. It was very tasty. The best part about being in WY was that my brother proposed to Tenley! It was awesome. I'm so excited to have a sister! Anyway, here are some pics from WY:







Montana: also very pretty. We stayed at a hotel just outside of Yellowstone. We had a deck with a nice view.

Idaho: lots of trees and mountains. We stayed at an amazing resort. I think the place is trying to build its name as a ski resort. We had dinner in my parents' suite (which had a kitchen, complete with granite countertops) and then spent some time in one of the roof-top hot tubs.

Washington: flat, windy, and dry in the eastern part; after the Columbia River, things got more hilly and green.

I've been in Seattle for almost a week now, and it's awesome. My neighborhood is a little sketchy, but my apartment is nice. It's huge by Seattle standards. I was hoping to be in an area where I could walk to restaurants and shops, but at least my rent is very reasonable here. My parents and Raji helped me get my apartment furnished and set up, and now it looks great. I have a guest bed (futon) and plenty of room for visitors. ;)

Since I've been here, I've done lots of fun stuff like:

- Went to the Market a couple of times. One of the times we brought stuff home for dinner - salmon and cheese, yum!
- Raji and I spent a day wandering around the U-district and then downtown. I wish we would have had more time, but it was fun anyway.
- My parents and I went to Bainbridge Island, which is just a short ferry ride from Seattle. We drove around the island and looked at all the pretty houses. We walked around one of the state parks there and then took a short hike through a nature preserve. There are a lot of ferns and big trees on the island - I think it's sort of rainforest. After that, we went back to the touristy area and had some appetizers, and then did a wine sampling. I'll upload pics from this day later - I haven't put them on my computer yet.
- Yesterday I drove around town and did some shopping for necessary stuff (router, toaster, etc). Apparently there are no Linens 'N Things in Seattle. I went to the nearest one, which is in Woodinville or something. I bought new sheets for my new bed! Yay. Later, I met up with Eric (a friend from high school) and went to a bar on Capitol Hill. I met some of his friends, and they were very warm and friendly.
- Today I met up with Scott and Kelli, two fellow Chi-Hi grads. They moved out here a year ago and had lots of helpful advice for me. We went to some sort of street fair in Edmonds (north of here). After that we wandered around a beach in Edmonds and looked at the scuba diving park. I've never heard of such a thing - it was pretty intriguing. There's also a big fishing pier in Edmonds. We walked around the pier but didn't see anyone catch anything. We did see some jellyfish and silverbacks in the water, though. After that we went to a lighthouse in Mukilteo. It was a tiny lighthouse, not much higher than two stories. The weather today was perfect - 75 degrees and partly cloudy; a typical Seattle summer day, so I'm told. Unfortunately I forgot to wear sunscreen and got a bad burn!

Anyway, that's about it so far. There's so much to do out here, it's amazing. School starts September 26th for me (late, I know) and in the meantime I'm hoping to check out Mt. Rainier and Olympic National Parks. I might also go to Snoqualmie Falls if I get a chance. Tomorrow I might spend some time driving around and finding a good vantage point to take pictures of the city.

My ankle and knee have been bothering me a lot since I moved. I have been spending a LOT of time on my feet, but I guess that won't be unusual for me now that I'm living in the city. Before I moved, I talked to one of my doctors about my options for meds, and he said I should stay on darvocet. I'm not totally happy with it because it's a narcotic. It seems to work okay for the pain (the only thing that helps, really) but it makes me very dizzy. Also, I think darvocet is probably difficult to keep getting refilled, since there is that chance of becoming addicted. I'm hoping to start physical therapy here soon, and it will be good to hear other perspectives on my situation.

I miss good cheese. My mom found some yummy stuff at the Market the other day, but that's probably imported. I'm told that most cheese around here comes from Oregon, and it's nothing special. It's also ridiculously expensive. We stopped at a cheese store at the Market and I got a sample cheese curd. It was weird - very dry and chalky. The taste was okay, but the texture was just so wrong. They were selling them for $12/lb.

Seafood, beer, and wine are all amazing here. I have eaten seafood for almost every meal since I got here. Seafood is still pretty expensive out here, but you can find it for cheap if you look hard enough. There's a local restaurant chain called Ivar's that has nice restaurants and also has some fast food places. It's kind of weird that they have two types of restaurants, but in my experience, both are very good. As far as beer goes, there are tons of microbreweries in Seattle and Portland. It would probably take me at least a year to try every variety of beer from every brewery. Wine is also big around here. There are lots of winerys in the state. Apparently red wine is big here.

Anyway, I think that's about it for now. I miss the Joynt, the GI, good cheese, my kitties, and most of all, my friends and family!

blah

I had a frustrating physical therapy appointment today. I'm still having trouble with stairs and uneven surfaces, and my therapist said that probably isn't going to get much better because I'm limited by my ankle motion (which my doctors tell me is about as good as it's going to get).

Also, my patellar tendon is "really tight", and the new pain I've been experiencing in my knee is right where my ACL screw is. My therapist told me to call the doc.

Anyway, today was my last therapy appointment in EC. I've been going there for over a year and a half. My therapist told me I need to continue with PT when I get to Washington. I wish this would all just go away....

The other day Raji, Andrew M. and I were bored and decided to get in the car and drive. We ended up checking out a couple of the parks in Augusta. We walked around and did a little bit of fishing. I wish my ankle weren't so sore, or I probably would have wanted to walk around more. At least I got a chance to play around with the new camera.

Anyway, here are a few pics (click for biggies):

musings on nothing

I hate the NBC ads for their new show, I think it's called "Bionic Woman." The latest ad I saw depicted a woman in a car going through a bad accident - like, wrapping her car around her pole. If I wanted to see that, I'd watch the show once it premiers. I think it's in poor taste for NBC to show that during primetime, or at all for that matter. The ad defintely came out of the blue and was an unpleasant viewing experience. Anyone who has been in an accident (or has a loved one who has been in an accident) must cringe as much as I do when watching that.

Anyway, I'm at Raji's and there's a gas leak. I think that's my cue to leave.

P.S. Why is it so hard for people to use gas stoves?

website updatins

I added some new photos to my website (mostly in the wedding section). Check it out if you're bored... :)

things i like right now

"Exploring Music" (plays at 10 PM weekdays on XM Classics 110)
Chopin scherzos
going fishing
my camera
having time to read for fun
summer
etc.

stuff

Why are gym memberships so expensive? I just want to go to the gym while I'm still here and not pay $100 for the summer. Access to UWEC's fitness centers is only $20 for the summer, but apparently the privilege of using their facilities is not extended to alumni. I would love to go to the gym and work off some stress, but apparently that's not going to happen this summer.

Maybe it's a good thing that I can't go to the gym - the pain on the outside of my knee is coming back with a vengeance. It's not like I've been pushing myself really hard lately - maybe I'm more active than I was during the school year, but I'm definitely still doing a LOT less than I was before the accident. Apparently whatever I'm doing is just a little too much for my knee. I think it's from going up and down stairs too much (which still hasn't gotten any easier). I have physical therapy tomorrow, and I'm hoping my therapist can help me figure out what I need to do differently to stop this pain before it becomes constant again. I'm feeling pretty frustrated and restless. I want to be able to work out or go for long bike rides like I used to, but my knee still isn't ready. It's going to be really hard to figure out how I can start building strength and getting back to normal activities without irritating my knee.

My stomach hasn't been feeling any better since my last post. Actually I think it's getting a little worse. I've been avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and certain foods that seem to make it feel worse. I think I just need to give it some time and keep taking my medicine and hopefully it'll sort itself out.

Anyway, enough negative stuff. It's summer, and over the past couple of days I've been able to get out and enjoy the warm weather. Andrea had a BBQ on Sunday, and yesterday was full of fishing, lounging & reading (for fun), and more grilling. I'm excited for the weekend - one of my good friends got married in Mexico a few months ago, and she's having her reception up here on Saturday. I'm excited to see her (and have an opportunity to use my new camera!) Yay summer!

And now, the obligatory sunset picture:

oops

So... I've been having stomach aches on and off since the trial started. At the time I was on a prescription anti-inflammatory medicine for my knee, and I had to stop taking it because it was bothering my stomach so much. I finally decided to go to the doctor, and apparently I either have gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining?) or an ulcer. It was most likely caused by the anti-inflammatory medicine, since I've had problems with that stuff in the past, and I'm sure the amount of stress brought on by the trial was no help.

I'm on Prilosec or something now, and I'm going to try and avoid certain triggers - like more stress.

I resolve to:
- set up my current apartment so it's a nice, relaxing space
- avoid drama
- set aside time every day to do something completely unproductive, like play zelda
- get enough sleep

That seems like a good list for now.

my ankle hurts

I have trouble figuring out where the line is between challenging myself to a healthy extent and over-doing it. I tend to over-do everything, and physically I don't have much to show for it.

in limbo

I guess it's been a while since I wrote last. It's been a busy few weeks. The big news, of course, is that I graduated. I know it's just an undergrad degree, and it's not really anything special, but I'm proud of myself anyway. I worked SO hard, especially in the time since the accident. I didn't take any semesters off, and still managed to graduate with honors and get myself into grad school. School has been an enormous struggle for me in the past couple of years, between the physical pain I've been in, the time I've had to take off for surgeries, the ridiculous amount of narcotics I was on for so long, and then having distractions like the trial. School was hard, but it was what kept me going. I felt like I was getting back to something normal and was working toward an accomplishment again. Also, at school it was easy to see the support I had.

After the commencement ceremony, my family and I went to Shanghai Bistro. The message I got in my fortune cookie said, "Every great accomplishment is at first impossible." Fitting, huh?

The weekend of commencement was great. My family gave me some amazing presents. My brother came to town to help celebrate, so that was fun. The big grad party was a blast. It was awesome to see that many people from the music department in the same place at the same time. I hope next year's (or semester's) grads make a tradition out of it, and have another joint grad party.

After commencement, it was time to pack up and move. I was hoping to be able to stay in my apartment until my landlord found someone else to rent it. Unfortunately for me, he found renters for June at the last minute. I wasn't really expecting that, so I hadn't packed anything yet (not that I'd even had time). Fortunately my family helped out a lot. Becky & Theresa needed a subleaser for a couple of months this summer, so I'll be staying in their apartment. Right now I'm kind of living between a few different places until the sublet has electricity. I manage to keep forgetting where my stuff is. I'll think I have something with me, but then have to run over to Raji's or the new apartment to get it, then realize it was in my car all along. Yesterday I was in the process of going back and forth looking for something-or-other and then accidentally got locked out of Raji's house. Whoops. I have a key now.

Packing for this move was kind of tricky because I had to decide what things I need over the summer, what I don't need until I get to Seattle, and what I don't need at all. I'm going to have to go through the same thing in a couple of months when I decide what I really need in Seattle. Despite the pain-in-the-ass moving situation, I'm starting to get excited about moving to Seattle. I'm going to miss everyone here like crazy, but I've come to the realization that I really need to get out of this area. It's really hard to try and "move on" when there are constant reminders everywhere. I hate to say it, because I've never wanted to be one of those people who runs away when life gets difficult, but the thought of getting away & having a break from it all sounds a little appealing right now.

I hate raw onions. I just picked some off my sandwich, and now my hands smell like ick.

My ankle has been bothering me a lot lately. I don't get it. I've been on my feet a little more than usual lately, but I still have to sit and rest all the time. I've noticed that if I'm standing still for more than a half hour or so, my ankle swells up and I can barely walk on it the next day. Also, if I'm walking for a while, I get this pretty uncomfortable grinding sensation in my ankle. I don't know if the stiffness & achiness is just because I've been on my feet more, or if the change in weather has something to do with it too. It's frustrating because nothing has been done to my ankle (surgically) for over a year - shouldn't I be able to stand on it for a while AND still be able to walk the next day? How frustrating...

I was hoping that I'd be doing better physically by now. I was hoping that when I moved to Seattle, people wouldn't know something is wrong just by watching me walk. I want people to know me for my personality, not for my past. That's one of the reasons I want to get out of here, but unfortunately that's going to follow me. You really can't run away from everything, or from anything. But I guess we'd never learn anything if we were able to escape our unpleasant experiences. C'est la vie.

In good news, I broke down and bought myself a digital SLR camera. I was using my mom's so much that it made sense for me to buy my own. Besides, I can't bring my mom's camera to Seattle with me. I'm having lots of fun with the new camera. Here are some pics (click for biggies):

things that are not happy:
- I have to move out of my house in two weeks. My landlord was going to let me stay as long as no one had rented it, but as it turns out, someone just signed the lease.
- My "good" knee is being crappy. It's really sore and it clicks/pops. My physical therapist tells me I'm having patellar tracking problems in that knee too, which apparently isn't uncommon, since I favor that one. I'm having some balance issues since both of my knees are crabby, so if I am walking like a pirate or lose my balance, that's why.
- Grad party planning. Help?

things that are happy:
- I wrote my last paper of my undergraduate career! Friday I take my last final, and then I'm done. I'm so glad to have my concert attendance & service learning stuff out of the way.
- I think I found a place to live for a couple of months?
- Cool people are going to be in town this weekend.
- Grad party!!!

website update

My website has a new look, please check it out! :)

when did life get like this?

I just returned home from a weekend in Madison, where I spent quality time with some friends in need. Adam and I drove down my parents' truck, filled to the brim with everyone's donations for Leanne (the friend whose house burned down). I spent some time on Saturday with Leanne, and then spent Sunday with a friend who was semi-recently diagnosed with MS.

After having a monumentally bad week of my own, I started to wonder: when did we grow up? When did life get so complicated? Is this what the "real world" is? I'm trying to remember when my biggest worry was forgetting to do homework or sleeping through a final.

Right now I'm just trying to take things one day at a time. I have had a bad stomach ache for the past few weeks (since the day the trial started), but I think it's getting a little better. Physical therapy is going okay - I have all sorts of new (read: painful) exercises to do. I'm still easily frustrated, mostly because of the fact that I can't even go for a short walk on the bike trail without being in a lot of pain afterwards.

Anyway, at least I have graduation to look forward to. I can't wait!

what a sad week

I probably don't need to mention what this title is about. If you're looking for a more in-depth reaction, you won't find it here.

Adding to the absolute shittiness of this week: the apartment of a good friend of mine (in Madison) burned down over the weekend. Luckily nobody was home, but she lost everything, including her two cats. I feel so awful for her.

I guess the only positive thing I can say is that it's amazing how thoughtful friends can be during difficult times.

this is an update

Okay, so I haven't updated in a while. The semester is finally starting to wind down. I'm done with my recital, the ball, and the percussion ensemble concert. Everything went well, and now I'm enjoying some much-deserved free time.

Last time I wrote, I talked about how frustrated I am with my knee. I had a physical therapy appointment not long after that, and I think things are looking up a bit. I mentioned to my therapist that my knee had popped (worse than usual) while I was doing some exercises at home. He asked me a bunch of questions after that, and then watched me walk around barefoot, and now he thinks I have patello-femoral syndrome. I guess it's a pretty common knee problem that basically means the kneecap isn't moving correctly. Then after doing some exercises and stuff, the therapist realized my kneecap wasn't moving much at all. After watching me walk, he thinks my heel also isn't moving the way it's supposed to, which is probably causing the kneecap problems. I think my heel is really stiff because of my foot being dislocated. Sounds like a lot of big issues, but he seemed really optimistic. It's nice to FINALLY know what's going on.

My therapist set me up with a light exercise routine, and it seems to actually be helping. I use the exercise bike for 10 minutes or so to warm up, then do a bunch of stretches, and then work on kneecap mobilizations (pushing on the kneecap in an effort to loosen it up). I hate doing the mobilizations, but I think it's making a difference. My knee still hurts a lot, but it's slightly less stiff, and at least it doesn't seem to be getting worse anymore.

In other news, I was extremely saddened to hear about the Virginia Tech shootings. I can't even imagine what those students are going through. It makes me value the relative safety we have here in EC, but then it also makes me question that sense of security. I think it's really sad/distressing that it takes something like this in order for campuses to put emergency evacuation plans in place - but then I guess hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, does anyone want to make a trip to Hudson with me later this week?